Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
