dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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