im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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