Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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