Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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