My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
