I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
