is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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