it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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