there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
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If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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