There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
