So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
