That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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