i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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