You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
