Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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