he thought i was a dude.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
