I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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