So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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