bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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