i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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