Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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