I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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