Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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