I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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