Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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