Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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