My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Randomize
