i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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