Betty ford says i'm here all night
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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