hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
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