Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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