You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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