I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
