He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize