you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize