i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
