dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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