I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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