We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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