when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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