I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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