Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
