he wants to bone in the snuggie
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
