And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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