Betty ford says i'm here all night
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
