I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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