i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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