Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My vagina just recognized that song.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize