Christians are straight up FREAKS
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
