I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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