Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
