I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
