i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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