Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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