coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
